I would say everyone has probably been stuck in a rut at some point in their life, right?

When you’ve just got out of a relationship and you feel like your life has come to a halt because you’ve lost that happiness for a while.

Or when work has become just too much, and it feels like stress is taking over your life.

Or those days spent binge eating and watching your favourite TV show, feeling lazy and slobber-ish.

Well, this is okay.

There is this growing judgement that we must be positive all of the time.

We can be so easily fooled by the daily posts of bloggers eating their fancy avocado toast and sipping on their expensive coffee, and we question, what else do they actually do?

But the reality is, everyone has a story you don’t know about.

Behind the pictures of avocado toast and expensive coffee, are conscientious individuals who have worked hard to dedicate a life to blogging. Like us, they face everyday challenges with work, bills, and mental health.

While there is nothing wrong with the positivity spread over Instagram, people need to realise it is inhuman to feel positive every single day.

I aim to make my Instagram a happy place, where I influence people with my fashion buys and the fun places I have visited!

But that doesn’t mean to say I am happy all of the time.

If I shared with you the pictures of my reality, people would see the days where my hormone levels have created an uncontrollable moody snob who snaps at everyone.

It would highlight my unbelievably bloated stomach after a seriously cheesy pizza (or anything lactose intoxicated for that matter), where I spend hours poking and sulking at it in shame.

It would also share the unglamorous shots of knotty windswept hair covering my face, and ungraceful poses taken when trying to get the right Instagram picture for my feed.

You get the point right?

So, this blog post is a little guide to portray why it is okay to have down days, weeks, and months. But also, to share advice on how to overcome the inevitable negatives life throws at us.

The most valuable piece of advice I have ever learnt

About a year ago I was stuck in one of those ruts, and I didn’t know how long it would take to get out.

I’m not going to lie, it took about 9 months to feel fully better.

But along the way, I was told some very wise words from a loved one;

‘learn to accept’.

Short and blunt, but a whole lot of meaning behind it.

When you’re feeling down about that guy who just dumped you after months of happiness, of course it is going to take time to get over it. But an easier way of moving forward is to not challenge his decision, don’t try and change what cant be changed. Instead, accept it. It’s not going to help with the heartbreak, but it will make the process of breaking up a lot easier to understand.

When you are swamped with work and assignments, all you want is for them to disappear. Sometimes it can get to the point where you dread going into university because of even more workload. But if you keep pushing yourself to do it, and accept that it is something that needs to be done, it makes it that little more bearable. Also, once the worst of the work is done, you have that proud feeling of achievement.

Learning to accept gets easier as you get older, and by all means it comes with experience. But those wise words helped me clear my mind from gloating on what can’t be stopped or changed and allowed me to focus on moving forward.

Don’t give yourself a hard time for finding things difficult, because it is okay to have down days, weeks, even months.

But learning to accept will help you along the way.

Don’t have a good day. Have a day.

Sometimes there can be too much pressure on making your day to be a positive. If you are going through anything, remember to not have a good day. Just have a day.

Take a day away from all the planning, prepping and doing. Have some time to yourself.

I know that a lot of us suddenly reach for our planners, organisers and calendars when things get out of hand (I am so guilty of this) and we feel that we need some control in our life.

But realistically, how long do we stick to using these?

It’s kind of like a comfort thing really. A way of making it feel like we’ve got ourselves together when things get chaotic.

But if you have time to yourself then don’t plan everything to the last bullet point.

Having a ‘day’ takes away the pressure of filling it with things that we feel we have to do to make ourselves feel better, rather than doing something we already love (like watching hours on end of Modern Family, and stuffing your face with nachos, feeling no guilt… Yeah I do that sometimes).

It’s okay to have down days, weeks, even months. Just remember to treat them right and don’t force a whole load of positivity because that isn’t always what you need.

Enjoy the Journey as much as the destination

Surprisingly, life does not come with a book of rules.

It would have been pretty useful to have been born with a little post-it-note on my head that told us I wouldn’t be able to digest the most desirable foods in the world; dairy, and that I would be allergic to any furry little friend; animals, and that I would completely suck at a skill that becomes pretty useless after years of revision; maths. But hey, I guess that’s life, so enjoy the little surprises.

I’ve always had a plan. After primary school, I was prepared for secondary school; then sixth form; and now university. But what happens next?

As hard as it can be, especially for the overthinkers like me; focus on the present.

My mind is constantly thinking towards the future, like the endless thoughts of what the hell happens after uni? Do I just jump into a full time career and that’s it? This has just reminded me of how fast I am  growing up, and oh God I’ve just remembered again I’m no longer a teenager. And wait a minute, aren’t the 20s supposed to be the best time of my life? But someone else told me it will be my 30s. Is what I’m experiencing now the best part of my life?

You see? It only causes worry.

So focusing on the present allows you to take life one step at a time.

Of course there will be ups and downs, but wait for them to come to then deal with them.

Once you have reached your destination, you can then look back on the journey with happiness and content that you had a good, successful time getting to where you are now. Don’t let the down days, weeks, and months discourage you from enjoying the journey.

Thank you for reading 🙂 feel free to share and comment! xxx